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Holding on For Dear Life: Daily Thoughts from a Mom of Five

I wrote this a few years ago and I'm laughing going through it because well, not much has changed!

We the moms of Today.

We are all going through a crazy tornado of thoughts all day long.  Am I right?

There are sports, school, homework (don't get me started), QT with the hubby, doing laundry (again...don't get me started!), the endless tasks of cleaning, scheduling, grocery shopping, cooking, practices, PTA & school stuff.  I'm tired just thinking about it all.  OH, and we all have to look super put together, fit and refreshed, ok?  

Right now, as I'm typing this, my room and one of my kids' rooms are completely destroyed. My 2 and 1-year-olds like to play a little game where they throw everything on the ground.  I almost can't take the cuteness...

Back to perfection.  

Moms, I don't have the answer, but I do make myself laugh out loud throughout the day thinking of how comical 'the list' is when sometimes I can barely get clothes on my kids' running, naked bodies.  

Seriously.  Laugh with me.  It's the only way to survive. 

Here is a compiled list of my thoughts from the other day.  This is a fraction of the afternoon's compilation.

Motherhood is not perfect.  It's not even half-pretty in most stages, it's a flipping mess, it's chaotic, it's loud, it's frustrating, it makes you question every single thing you're doing.  

But it's also INCREDIBLE.  Like hold on, you'll never experience anything like it.  EVER.  It's beyond words.  It's exhilarating, it's heart grasping, it's moving, it's refreshing, it's something you'll protect like you've never protected anything in your life.  

It's all of it.  

Enjoy this list.  And don't read it around your kids if you don't want them learning a certain new vocabulary ;)

1. HOLY SHIT.

2. HOLY SHIT IM GONNA DIE.
3. How in the HELL am I trusted with other peoples' lives?
4. (3. Cont) … FOREVER?!!
5. My body hurts — why do I keep carrying these giant small people?
6. I’d rather carry you than hear you howl.
7. WHEN IS YOUR DAD GOING TO BE HOME?!
8. I wonder if they’ll find me if I hide in the attic...or play dead? Could I get away long enough to sneak in a nap?
9. Am I a good parent? Should I be nicer? Should I be more tough? Is there a manual? WHY ISN'T THERE A MANUAL?!
10. I feel weird hiding my food from them. I wouldn’t have to feel this way if they weren’t savages. It’s not my fault.
11. How did my mom do this?
12. Why didn’t she talk me out of this?!
13. Does my mom hate me?!
14. Can I get in trouble for making them skip a meal? What if I just don’t feel like cooking? Ah, surely, they’ll be fine.
15. I wouldn’t have to yell if you would just listen. WILL YOU STOP AND LISTEN?!!
16. You cannot clean your room? Did you ever see 300? Kids were shipped off at like 7 to be soldiers. You can't handle your room?  Suit yourself, off you go...
17. No, kids stop asking me if I'm having another baby.  It’s called sacrifices…stop poking my flipping belly!
18. Why is everybody crying at once? That’s it, I’m gonna cry too! It’s one on five and I’ve got nothing.
19. Are they ever going to stop fighting? And what is that smell?!
20. Why are they so funny sometimes when they're in trouble?  I know they're trying to make me laugh. Is it really that serious? Maybe I can laugh but tell them it's something else. Ok, bad idea. 
21. Excuse me child did you ask me why can't I go faster? Are your legs broken?
22. It's your dinner dammit! Not a foreign discovery.  Eat it or cook for us.  Are you crying?!
23. STOP BRINGING BUGS IN THE HOUSE!
24. Do they ever stop eating? Did I?...gahhh.
25. Oh no, I used my son's hydro flask for my wine last night and I think he just brought it to kindergarten.
26. They go to sleep after all of this and I tuck them each in, give them a million kisses, and tell them thank you for letting me be your mom.  

Do you feel more normal now? ;)  Ahh F it pass the vino.

Xx,

Karin | Lenny Lemons

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