They say that it takes 10,000 hours to become a master of something.
Scuba diving, accounting, dancing, writing, pitching, cooking, 10k hours and you become a master of your craft.
I'm still waiting for my mastery award for motherhood. For sure it's been a stellar amount of hours since kicking off this new and snazzy mom life.
But despite the house, I don't feel like a black belt in anything but yelling.
I mean, one minute I'm sucking on their faces or trying to get them to pee in their pants laughing and the next I'm yelling like the place is on FIYA. I know my neighbors think I've got the best lungs on the block. Or they know for sure, ah what's the difference?
I was recently watching a show called "The Americans". I'm one of those people who doesn't allow myself to watch TV shows because if I like it, the kids are on their own until all the episodes that are available to watch have been seen. It's happened twice already. No kids have been harmed.
Back to the show, I'm always in AWE of the parents. They are always so calm, well... there's a lot more to tell, but in terms of dealing with each other and their kids, they NEVER raise their voices.
How in the hail? I've tried that. Maybe not for a prolonged period of time, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Three of my boys were screaming and laughing and one crazy wombat of a daughter running wild, nobody heard a peep of what I was saying.
Back to yelling.
Last week something funny happened though. I was yelling the same old thing over and over (sound familiar) to my 5-year-old son, I finally stopped, looked at him, smiled, and said "Okay, never mind. Don't do it." Cool as a cucumber.
What did he do?
He lost his mind.
It was awesome.
I felt like I was getting somewhere.
You mean that was the key the whole time?!
But seriously. When the tables turned one on one with him and I calmed down, he freaked out. He's like "NOOOOO MOM!! Why are you SO mad?! I'll do it now!"
What? Mad NOW? Am I missing something? Do I need medication?
I had to step into another room to let that simmer and had a little laugh. I figured it out! Being calm and trying to corral the herd when they're all together doesn't work (in my house) but being calm and talking to them one on one just might work.
Mom award won, I'm getting this thing down. I am a master of my craft! Come on it's almost getting too easy!
Not so fast.
Fast forward to this week the tables have taken a turn for... well, exactly where they started. I've used that strategy a few times effectively. But after my kids caught wind of it, they started doing it to one another and it lost its charm. DAMNIT. Don't mock me... especially when it comes to a solution for my sanity.
Back to square one.
Someday I'll have this parenting thing figured out, but for now, I'm just holding on for dear life.
In the meantime. Tell me about your home. How do you discipline? What works? What sucks? How much wine do you consume daily? All of this I must know.
Over + out for now.