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How to Not Raise Asshole Kids

How to Not Raise Asshole Kids

There are way too many assholes running around 

Stop the insanity. I wasn't around in the 1950s, but my grandma said 'kids just didn't act like this' about a zillion times when we used to hang out in her parlor full of interesting glass objects.
 
 
How many times do you walk through a grocery store, school, mall, or even to a friends house and walk away thinking 'Thank God that is not my child.' Probably more times than you realize, but it's not their fault. It's the collective generation of parents paving the perfect path for their sweet little angels and not realizing that they are creating total entitled assholes.
 
Before you jump to conclusions and assume it’s your tired toddler that melts down on the floor of Target, that’s not it.  
 
Hell, I melt on the floor at Target when I’m tired too. It’s just too much Joanna Gaines.
 
We’re talking about the kid that has meltdowns every time they go into Target because you’re not buying them all 6 toys they are eyeballing. Or the kid that walks into your house and sits on your couch staring at their phone instead of saying hello. Or the kid that never says thank you. Or the kid that acts entitled af.  
It's a cringe-worthy topic and is like nails on a chalkboard to watch. My kids are assholes sometimes, they all are!  
 
Do you remember Veruca Salt (not the band) from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? She was hard to watch. A total example of a spoiled brat, otherwise known as, an asshole.

 

 

While everybody needs guides and checklists these days, here is your friendly guide to not raising assholes.
 
How to not raise assholes:
1. Don't be an asshole yourself, your kids are watching.
 
2. Tell your husband not to be an asshole either, yeah they're watching him too.
 
3. Create some f*cking house rules. And stick to them. Don't just give up because it's hard, or inconvenient at the time. They'll learn from your behavior and do it all over again. This one is really f*cking hard by the way.
 
4. Teach them some mother loving respect. "Respect your elders", they used to say, except respect everybody. A disrespectful kid is an instant asshole to the people around them.  
 
5. Teach your kid to say hello. It's a real word. If you send Johnny on a playdate and Sam and his mom pick up Johnny, Johnny better say hello to Sam's mom and dad. Or he's an asshole. Hello is common courtesy.
 
6. They need manners. Real ones, not shrugs, or half-assed nods. Words. Please and thank you are the highly effective ones here.  
 
7. The world doesn't revolve around them. Sometimes kids get it twisted but other times parents lead them to believe they are the more important than everybody else. Of course, they're special kids, but teaching them the sun rises and sets on their ass is not a good long term play. Asshole.
 
8. Responsibility and accountability. That shit doesn't just happen as a grownup. Fold some laundry, help around the house, give them responsibility and hold them to it. Will they be a good wife or hubby if they don't learn these things? Be f*cking responsible.
 
9. "Mean Girls" are never in style. Otherwise known as a 'bully, it's a learned behavior. It could be from movies, the family at home, friends, or people at school. Bullies are total assholes and will keep that behavior throughout life.
 
10. Teach them to be grateful. Not just for toys, Disneyland, treats, or new clothes. Grateful for everything. Breathing, a f*cking small piece of bread, family, friends, a bed, a toothbrush, wearing shoes, sunshine, being alive. Grateful.  It'll last with them throughout life.
 
Raising kids is really f*cking hard. It's hard to set rules and stick to them because life is just tough sometimes. Set the guidelines for your family and talk about them, communicate to your child what's acceptable and what's not. They need to hear it. They need to understand it and know when they're out of bounds.  
 
Be a person you want your kid to emulate. This doesn't mean perfect, just be aware. Kids are incredible little humans with so much love, curiosity, hope, and potential. It's up to us to steer them in the right direction. Don't raise assholes.


Read Next: 
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Comments

Helen Hunt - August 9, 2019

Don’t use language you want your child using,that is horrible to hear ,show some respect

Carol - August 8, 2019

Love your list of suggestions- I have one that I think is critical- eat dinner together with your toddlers. Sorry for the foodies out there that want to eat at 9PM after the wee one(s) are in bed…. sticking them in front of the TV with a food tray makes me sick. Poor eating habits.. zero knowledge that mealtime is FAMILY TIME.. it’s the time of day when everyone wants to hear from you. YOU ( the child) are an important part of our lives. It also teaches LISTENING, taking turns, shutting up when parents are talking…. teaching them how to respect your interpersonal communication.. I am Grandma whose kids learned this. Very frustrated at grandchildren who are so entitled, they have no awareness of this.. completely due to their parents supporting the YOU ARE THE WORLD fallacy. I really don’t want my grandkids to be the assholes you speak of.

Maria Caliciuri-Gray - August 7, 2019

Finally someone who gets it and speaks my language, teenagers will eat you up if you don’t say no once in awhile. I have realized alot from what I read and yes….changes have to made

John - August 6, 2019

Bad parents and bad adults spawn bad kids….some people should just never have kids! Hitler was a monster but at least he didn’t have kids!

Elaine - August 2, 2019

Hmm. I actually think kids are assholes because they have too many adults telling them what to do all day every day. We tell them what to say, what to do, how to say things, how to do things. What not to do, etc. Every second of their day is led by parents, teachers, and day care workers -adults mediating, intervening, protecting them, problem solving for them, entertaining them, teaching them, and modeling social and emotional learning “lessons”.

I think if kids had more time for free play, more time to build relationships ships and practice social thinking skills with each other, we wouldn’t have so many asshole kids. Just sayin. :) Kids learn from each other. Kids learn by playing. They need experience not more models, lectures, and lessons. History and research makes this so flipping obvious, yet we continue to ignore this.

Adults need to let kids be kids. If we don’t, we’ll continue to have children that lack healthy relationships. They won’t understand how their behavior impacts how others perceive them. They won’t care how how others feel nor will they be able to put themselves in other peoples shoes aka empathize and work together. Put simply, we’ll continue to have assholes for kids that turn into asshole adults.

Kathy - August 1, 2019

Great article, I am guilty of a lot of it.. keep the FBombs because that seems to be society’s other big problem we are not allowed to speak freely without offending others!

Ken - August 1, 2019

Good article. Language was fine. Adults are reading it not toddlers. Don’t listen to the censors. Lol you’re blogging not writing a New York Times article. Hell I think Mark Manson’s book with the f bomb is a best seller because of the use of the f bomb in the title.

MB - July 31, 2019

Not sure why the f word had to be used!!

Sheri - July 30, 2019

Awesome!! Honest and makes total sense!!6

Jo Locke - July 30, 2019

This is a great read, but wonder why you feel the need to use the F-bomb so much. Remember your kids are listening too and you can get your point across without it .

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